


know you're not alone

by fakeheaux



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Animal Shelter, Bad Writing, Dogs, I APOLOGIZE, Multi, Pack Dynamics, Veterinary Clinic, Wolf stuff, idk man, what are tags, who knows - Freeform, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:44:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fakeheaux/pseuds/fakeheaux
Summary: There are many beliefs of what a shift feels like. The most common one is that the shift always hurts, even after you’ve become used to it. In his opinion, that isn’t quite true. It’s not painful, per se, but it is intense. Shifting, to him, is like a rush of endorphins, adrenaline, and relief all at once. He shifts and it’s like going back home. It’s like - like the best feeling in the world.or zayn doesn't like dogs which bothers niall so so much





	know you're not alone

**Author's Note:**

> wolves! i love wolves! so much so that i joined the wolvesfest as soon as i saw the post on tumblr about sign ups! this is my werewolf au! but i mean...wowow this is so bad? i don't know where i meant to go with this so...i do apologize
> 
> unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine
> 
> title is from home by phillip phillips (what a name)
> 
> (also dall means blind in irish)

Zayn and Niall are in the middle of a movie when Zayn says it. It comes as such a shock that Niall just stares at him, speechless, for long enough to prompt Zayn to pause the movie and ask if he’s okay. The answer is, of course, no. Niall stands, hands going through his hair and messing it up even more than what Zayn had not ten minutes ago.

“Niall?” Zayn asks slowly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Niall nods, clearing his throat roughly. When he speaks, his voice is scratchy. “Yeah, um, just. Just a shock, innit.” He chews on a nail, other arm hugging across his stomach. He feels vaguely ill. “For how long, then?”

Zayn shrugs once, short. He doesn’t look nearly as upset as the situation calls for, in Niall’s opinion. “My whole life, I guess. Can’t remember a time when it wasn’t like that.”

“Never?” Niall asks, voice shrill. Zayn winces, shaking his head. Niall exhales loudly. “Oh my god, Zayn. This is - this is unbelievable. I - you need to leave. Now.”

Snorting, Zayn just sinks back into the couch. “Really? You’re going to kick me out over something like this?” He shakes his head, crossing his arms. Even pissed off, he looks like a model. Niall is so freaking pissed. “I thought you were better than this, Ni. I mean, when was the last time you ever let something so trivial dictate how you feel about someone?”

Niall scoffs loudly, arms flinging out wide. “You call this trivial? What about if we get married, Zayn? Or - or have kids? Oh my god, what if we have  _ kids _ , what’re we gonna do then, what -”

“What does this have to do with us having kids or getting married, Niall?” Zayn snaps, a hand held up. “Which,  _ whoa _ , we’ve been dating three months, not three  _ years _ , there’s no reason to be thinking so far ahead, okay?” He stands, approaching Niall. “Besides, it’s not that big a deal, really; it won’t affect our daily lives at all, and even if we do have kids, they’ll never know the difference.”

“They won’t know the difference?” Niall asks, loud. “You don’t like  _ dogs _ , Zayn! Dogs! God’s gift to mankind! Angels with paws! You think your kids won’t notice that you don’t like dogs when they’re suffering from chronic allergies year round because you wanted fifty  _ cats _ ?”

“Hey,” Zayn snaps, taking a step forward, “calm the fuck down, yeah? I get that you’re super serious about your animals and shit because of what you do, but this really isn’t that big a deal. If it is, then maybe we should just call it quits then, eh? Seeing as you’re debating over whether or not you’ll have children with me because of it.”

He grabs his jacket off the armchair and shrugs it on, heading towards the front door. Niall freezes, then sighs and scrambles after him. He slams the door shut just as Zayn has pulled it open. Jaw clenching, Zayn looks at him, gaze unwavering.

“Wait,” Niall says. He can already feel his adrenaline spiking, a mixed reaction from his mini panic attack and the thought of Zayn actually breaking up with him over this. He shoves down the wave of heat growing in his stomach, shimmying between Zayn and the door to block the entrance. Zayn stares down at him - which,  _ how _ , aren’t they same height? - looking incredibly unimpressed. “Don’t go. And don’t - don’t break up with me, either, you asshole.” He can’t help but exhale on a laugh, the incredulousness of the situation finally hitting him.

Eyes narrowed, Zayn tilts his head. “You don’t really make a compelling argument, calling me names.”

Laughing for real, now, Niall gives Zayn a light shove, putting distance between them and the door. “Listen, I just - I’ve always really loved dogs, yeah? So when you said you don’t like them, I just - I was shocked. Cos of - of how I feel about them.” He shrugs. “I’m sorry.”

Zayn hums, low in his throat. “Make it up to me?” A wicked grin grows on his face, and Niall snorts, pushing him again.   


“Yeah, yeah, sure,” he says. “Go on, then, I’ll meet you in the room.”

Smiling softly now, Zayn walks backwards back into the flat, shedding his jacket and kicking his shoes off. He places them in their spot by the armchair and winks at Niall as he heads through the hall to the room. Niall grins after him, neck craning until Zayn is out of view. When the door’s audibly shut behind him, he darts to where his phone is charging on the end table. He unlocks it in a hurry, sending off a quick, barely legible text to Louis. Once the ‘delivered’ text has slid underneath his blue bubble, he locks it again and goes into the room with Zayn.

_ my boyfreidn doesnt lkie dogs what do ??? i ama DOG luo w hat does thsi meean for oru futre ? _

*

When Niall stumbles out of the room the next day, eyes bleary and feet scuffing across the cold hardwood floors, his phone is lit up across the room, going dark before he can reach it. When he does, his lock screen is full of over a dozen texts from Louis.

_ what does this even mean bro _

_ you do realize youre not a DOG dog right _

_ we’re WOLVES m8 dont ever disrespect yourself like this agin _

_ answer me twat _

_ so what are you crying yourself to sleep then ? _

_ it’s not big deal neil he’s not that great anyway _

_ he’s like _

_ he’s not the edward to ur bella _

_ wait _

_ wrong analogy LMAO _

Niall scrolls through the messages, all vaguely similar in the way all of Louis’s texts are; uncorrelated and completely missing the plot. Sighing, he scrubs a hand over his eyes and leaves Louis on read. He’ll explain everything when he gets to the shelter later. There’s no point in explaining it to him over the phone now, because he just ask again when they see each other.

Ears perking at the sound of the room door opening, Niall put his phone down and meets Zayn in the hallway. He wraps his arms around his waist, and Zayn’s head goes straight to his shoulder. They stand there for a bit, just hugging, because Zayn always needs a minute in the morning to completely wake up. He can go through his motions all day once he wakes up, but if he doesn’t take the time to  _ really _ wake up, he’s practically a zombie all day. His weeks were pretty unproductive until he started staying at Niall’s.

Waiting for Zayn to wake, Niall strokes a hand through his hair, humming somethig light and breathy. He’s not sure where the tune comes from, but somehow Zayn manages to catch on for a second, humming along for only a moment before he rubs his face into Niall’s neck.

He snuffles, head coming up, and props his chin on Niall’s shoulder. He’s come awake, then. “Hmm. Hi.” He pulls back, giving Niall a soft grin. Shaking his head, Niall pulls back and grabs his hand, leading him to the kitchen.

“Hi. C’mon, I’m making breakfast.” Without turning around, Niall knows that Zayn’s grin has grown. He loves when Niall cooks.

“Yayyy,” he says, drawing it out. Niall laughs loudly, and he puts the issue of last night to the back of his mind.

He’s hungry.

*

“So he...doesn’t like dogs?” Harry asks. Again. “He doesn’t like...dogs. But you work with dogs. Which he doesn’t like.”

Louis rolls his eyes, deftly pulling a wriggling cat out of its cage. He quickly calms it by placing a finger between its eyes and rubbing, a trick that he had figured out the first night the cat had been brought to the shelter. “Someone let me know when he figures it out, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he walks out of the room to the exam hall.

Harry, still puzzled, squints. His scrubs today are a pale pink, with crowned frogs dotting them, and Niall can see where they ride a few inches high at his ankle. He must have taken some from the women’s section, then. “So Zayn doesn’t like dogs.”

“Yeah,” Niall nods, arms crossed. He leans back against the bars of a cage but quickly jerks forward again when a cat swipes its claws at him. “Christ, Haz, have you got it yet?”

Nodding, Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Of course I do. Zayn doesn’t like dogs. What else is there to get?”

Chuckling, Niall shakes his head and moves to follow Louis into the exam hall. “Okay, Harry.” He’s not halfway out the door when Harry calls after him.

“Wait, but you’re a  _ werewolf _ ! If he doesn’t like dogs then what are you supposed to tell him?”

“There he goes - ow!” Louis calls. There’s a clatter and some swearing, and Niall grins, then jogs to the exam room. Cats have never really been Louis’s specialty anyway.

Hours later, after they’ve successfully gotten through their entire morning schedule with minimal delays or messes, Niall approaches the cage of his favorite dog, an alusky who’s gone almost completely blind. Niall can relate, sort of. They’re both big dogs, they’re both blue eyed, they’ve both got vision problems.

“Hey, petal,” Niall says, hand held out. The dog, dubbed Dall, huffs excitedly, already pawing at the door to the cage. She can always smell Niall before he walks into the room, which Niall has always loved. Dall was his first patient, the first dog who’s admission he was present for. Niall was assigned as her primary caretaker and they’ve been close ever since.

Dall was, at first, hesitant and scared of Niall, which he didn’t know how to get past. Every day he’d have to coax her out of her cage with treats, something that took weeks to actually start working. And when it  _ did _ start working, Dall wouldn’t go further than the door to her cage. It had been months of this, with barely any recovery, before Niall realized she was just scared of him. One day he came in and shifted, and she was all over him. It was a bit harder to give her her meds when he was wolf form, but he eventually figured it out, and now Dall is only three weeks away from being available for adoption. Niall will be sad to see her go, but he’s determined to make the most of it until she’s gone.

She whines, shoving her snout between the bars. 

“Okay, okay,” Niall laughs, opening her cage door. She pounces on him immediately, front paws on his chest and almost knocking him over. Laughing, Niall plays with her for a bit, palming her snout and pushing it away from him, or wrapping his arms around her body. Dall huffs, growling playfully. She snaps her teeth at him, catching his ear in her mouth. Wincing, Niall extracts himself from her grasp. “Alright, girl, we’re going outside today, yeah?” He pushes her down onto all four legs, giving her a firm pat on the bum to keep her there. “You’ve gotta get reaquainted with all that outside stuff, you know? Smells, and sounds, and stuff. C’mon.”

He leads her through the halls of the shelter, dodging Louis when he hears him coming down the hall. Louis doesn’t like when the animals are let loose without a lead, but Niall doesn’t like leads, so. They’re at a bit of a standstill. If Louis catches him, he’ll make sure Niall knows how unhappy he is during their next run.

When they make it to the door that leads them to the back garden - repurposed into a sort of playground for all their animals - Niall stops them. Dall sniffs at the door curiously, one paw coming up to scratch at the wood. She hasn’t been outside of the building in almost the whole time she’s been a patient, and Niall can feel the excitement coming off her in waves. He knows that once he shifts he’ll need to establish some sort of authority over her. If she gets sensory overload, she might panic and hurt one of them. Stripping quickly, Niall makes sure to place his badge and glasses on the shelf with the leads and collars. His scrubs can be replaced easily; his glasses are a different story.

Taking a deep breath, Niall calls on the wolf, and shifts.

There are many beliefs of what a shift feels like. The most common one is that the shift always hurts, even after you’ve become used to it. In Niall’s opinion, that isn’t quite true. It’s not  _ painful _ , per se, but it is intense. Shifting, to him, is like a rush of endorphins, adrenaline, and relief all at once. He shifts and it’s like going back home, like he’s back in Ireland, running through the green and smelling salt and cow shite on the air no matter how far you are from the nearest beach or farm. It’s like - like the best feeling in the world.

He falls on all fours, shaking his head out vigorously. It’s been too long since he shifted, he thinks.

Dall approaches him slowly, bumping her nose against his chin, and he snuffles around her face, mostly out of habit than unfamiliarity. He gently bites at her ear, and she jerks away, unhappy. Huffing, he lifts himself onto his hind legs to nose at the door. After realizing that going through doors would be difficult if he was in the shift, he and Harry rigged something up, making it easier to open the doors throughout the building. Once he’s got the door to the outside open, he gently pushes Dall out. She goes slowly, nose to the air, until her feet hit the end of the concrete patio. She pauses. Niall comes up next to her, carefully waiting for her to react.

When she finally takes a step onto the grass, it’s like the opening of a floodgate. She darts onto the yard, not letting the maze of toys slow her down. Even though she runs into plenty of them, tripping and sliding and occasionally running into a wall that’s gotten in her way, she doesn’t stop running. Niall barks happily, running after her. He guides her where he can, until he can’t handle the adrenaline anymore and tackles her to the ground. She yips, nipping at his neck until he rolls off her. They play like that for what feels like hours, Niall always being careful not to let her run into anything. He gets so distracted that he doesn’t even notice when Harry comes onto the patio, followed by -

“Zayn, I swear, he’s not here. He’s on lunch break. Maybe he just forgot to text you,” Harry says, sounding panicked. Niall skids to a stop, yelping when Dall runs into him. Panting, she rests her head on his. Niall stares at Zayn, who’s giving him a strange look.

“What kind of dog is that?” he asks Harry. Eyes wide, Harry meets Niall’s gaze.

“Um,” he humbles. “That’s an alusky. Very beautiful dogs, they are, mixed breed -”

Zayn shakes his head. “No, I know what the white one is. The brown one. What type of dog is the brown one?”

Harry’s brows come together as he tries to come up with a lie. Niall’s breath shortens, and he barks, just a small one, one foot coming forward. Shaking his head, Harry gives him a desperate look. Niall barks again, the one Louis calls his ‘bork,’ the one he uses when he wants to tell them something.

“Uhh,” Harry says, “he’s a, uh, a tamaskan. Yeah, they’re very closely related to wolves, but they’re not really common to England, you know, so, um...yeah.” He grimaces, cutting a glance to Niall. “Anyway, as you can see, Niall’s not out here, so -”

Zayn scoffs. “He wouldn’t go to lunch without telling me. We always have lunch together.” His brows come together in realization. “He’s still pissed off about the dog thing, isn’t he? I told him it wasn’t that a big a deal, why is he still going on about this.” He goes on, complaining to Harry ask they walk back into the building. Harry sends a quick thumbs down to Niall before he swings the door almost shut, brows pulled down. Sighing to himself, Niall approaches the door, listening for when Zayn and Harry’s footsteps have faded. Once he’s deemed them far enough away, he pulls the door open and barks at Dall. Head down, she slowly walks over to him, and goes through the door. Niall presses his nose into her thigh, and follows.

*

“Zayn, what’re you doing here?” Niall asks, wiping his hands on his thighs. He’s told Louis a thousand times, hand dryers are nothing compared to actual paper towels.

Zayn turns, eyes wide, and grins. “Hey, where were you? We literally looked all over.” He pulls Niall into a hug.

Laughing, Niall pats his back. “Obviously not all over. Was in the bathroom, ate some bad fruit earlier.”

“Excuse me, Niall, fruit doesn’t make you shit for over half an hour,” Harry says indignantly. He crosses his arms, pouting. Niall rolls his eyes. 

“Whatever, Haz. So, um, lunch?” The last part he directs at Zayn, who smiles and nods eagerly. “Great, just let me grab my bag and I’ll meet you outside.” He smiles after Zayn as he walks out the doors to the reception area, and as soon as the doors close, he smacks Harry over the head.

“Heyyy,” Harry whines, hand coming up to hold the spot. “What the hell, Niall?”

Niall grabs his bag from under the receptionist desk - they don’t have an actual room for the staff to put their things in, but since there’s never more than four of them on the clock at a time, it’s not too big a deal - and swings the strap over his chest. “You really couldn’t keep him from going through the entire building? What, did you take him into the quarantine room, too?”

“No,” Harry snaps, “but he was very insistent, okay? And he was worried that you were still upset at him about the dog thing even though you said you were fine so I thought the best way to make him feel better was to help him find you but obviously it wasn’t a very great idea because you in the middle of a  _ shift _ -”

“Which I  _ told _ you I’d be in,” Niall says. He gives Harry a light smack on the arm. “C’mon, Haz, you can’t be beta if you can’t even control people intruding on the pack.” It’s a low blow, and Niall knows it, but if Harry hadn’t challenged him for the position then he wouldn’t have to use it. Niall’s not omega, but he’s not enough to pull any sort of rank, either.

Shaking his head, Harry walks towards the hall with the examination rooms, where Louis is prepping a cottontail for surgery. “Whatever, Niall. Go on your lunch break, I’ll let Louis know where you went.”

Jaw clenching, Niall leaves.

*

“You alright, babe?” Zayn asks. They stroll down the street, finished with their lunch, heading back to the shelter. He nudges Niall in the shoulder, knocking him off balance.

Laughing, Niall shoves him back, but a hand to his arm doesn’t let Zayn go far. He pulls him into his side quickly, wrapping his hand in the crook of Zayn’s elbow. He ignores a pointed look from an older man walking by. He has no time for idle homophobia.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Niall says. “Just - Dall, the dog I’ve been telling you about? She’s going up for adoption in a few weeks, and I’m just worried about her.”

Nodding, Zayn slides Niall’s hand down until it’s holding his own. “She’s the one who can’t see, right?”

Niall nods. “Yeah, she’s gotten better, but today was her first time outside since she was admitted and even though she adapted pretty well, I was with her, you know, so I could help, but -”

“Wait, what kind of dog is Doll?” Zayn interrupts, brow furrowed. Niall’s steps falter, but he regains his stride quickly.

“Uh,” he says, mouth hanging open. He shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose for something to do. “Um, it’s Dall, and she’s an alusky, they’re really similar to Siberian huskies, so like -”

“Wait,” Zayn pulls them to a stop, dragging Niall to the side of a store so they’re not in anyone’s way. “You took her out today?” Niall nods slowly. “Did you take another dog out? A - a tamarind?”

Brows pulling together, Niall cocks his head. “The fruit?”

Zayn’s brows separate, his expression going serious. “Yes, I’m asking if you took a fruit out for a run with a dog - no, not the fruit. There’s a species, the name is close to that but I’m not quite sure -”

“Oh,” Niall says. He pushes down the burst of adrenaline from hearing the words ‘run’ and ‘dog’ in the same sentence, clearing his throat softly. “Yeah, the tamaskan. He’s, um, he’s new, so I took him out with Dall. Two birds with one stone, and whatnot.”

Eyes narrowing, Zayn takes a step back, dropping Niall’s hand. “Do you ever let a dog run outside alone? Like do you ever just take them out and then leave them on their own?”

Niall’s pulse spikes, and he has the distinct impression of being backed into a corner. “Not - not usually, no, but -”

“Then where were you when I was at the shelter? I saw two dogs outside alone today.” Zayn crosses his arms, looking genuinely upset.

Mind racing, Niall stutters out a laugh. “Um, probably just in the loo. Been drinking a lot of cranberry juice lately, it’s like - Harry’s on this weird juice cleanse thing again, it’s all he allows in the office fridge, it’s crazy -”

“Niall.” Zayn stares him down, arms still folded over his chest. Niall is strangely reminded of being scolded by a teacher. “Why did you leave two animals on their own outside?”

“I - I had to piss, Zayn,” Niall says, short. He can feel his haunches rising, wills them back down. “It’s not a big deal, they were on leads, they were surrounded on all four sides by fences three times their height. They never would’ve gotten away, and they wouldn’t have hurt each other. They’re like, best mates.”

Shaking his head, Zayn turns and starts walking back in the direction of the shelter. “They weren’t on leads.”

“Excuse me?” Niall snaps, following after him. “First you don’t believe me when I say that all I did was go pee, and now you’re saying that I don’t know how to take care of my own charges? If we had departments heads, Zayn, I’d be head of the canine department, okay? I love those dogs like they’re pa - family. Like they’re family.” He winces when Zayn gives him a strange look. “I know what I’m doing when it comes to them, okay?”

“Sure, Niall,” Zayn mutters.

For some reason, though, Niall can’t seem to let it go. “What do you care, anyway? You don’t even like dogs, what’s it to you if I hypothetically - because I didn’t - forgot to put a lead on a couple of them. It’s like - they get hurt, then it’s just two less dogs to ruin your day, am I right?”

Rolling his eyes, Zayn stops in the middle of the pavement. Niall only barely keeps from bumping into him. “Don’t be like that, Ni. Just because I don’t like dogs doesn’t mean I don’t want you to do your job. And there were no leads on the ones I saw.”

Jaw clenching, Niall tampers down on the swell of ego, the wolf in him taking the words as a challenge. He’s already on edge because of Harry, and if he doesn’t cool it down, he’s going to out himself to Zayn. Which isn’t supposed to happen for another, like, four years.

“I know what I’m doing, Zayn,” he says, gritting his teeth. He can feel a growl building in his chest, and he rolls his eyes at himself. Middle of the street in the middle of the day, and he just  _ has  _ to let the wolf control his emotions. Taking a calming breath, he shakes his head. “Whatever, just - we’ll agree to disagree, yeah?”

“Fine,” Zayn mumbles. They continue walking in silence, and Niall feels the first touches of guilt deep in his chest. He sighs.

“Hey,” he says. Zayn glances at him. “I’m sorry. I just - I get really defensive over my work, you know? Didn’t mean to take a tone with you.” Zayn’s nose scrunches. “What?”

“Take a tone?” Zayn laughs. “What are you, eighty?”

Niall smirks. “Eight three, actually.”

*

When they get back to the shelter, Zayn asks if he can hang out. His shift at the museum he works at is over, and Niall’s only got a few more hours before his replacement comes in. Niall shrugs, says he doesn’t mind, but lets him know that they’ll have to ask Louis for a more definitive answer. Louis, unsurprisingly, says yes.

“Could I talk to you, though, Niall?” he says, jerking his head towards his office.

“Ooh, you’re in  _ trouble _ ,” Zayn sings lowly. Niall turns to him, unamused, and he grins, tongue tucked behind his teeth. “What? I like a good delinquent.”

Niall scrunches his nose. “That’s an oxymoron.”

“Niall,” Louis repeats, tone sharp. Head lowered, Niall follows him out of the room. Louis shuts the door to his office after them, and takes a seat at his desk. Niall stays standing.

“What is it, Louis?” he asks quietly. Louis’s not happy, that much Niall can tell.

Louis lifts his chin. “You challenged Harry.”

Brows coming together, Niall spares a quick glance behind him, even though there's no way Zayn could hear what they're saying.

“No, I didn't,” he says. At Louis’s raised eyebrow, he quickly corrects himself. “I mean, I didn't  _ mean _ to. All I was trying to tell him was that he's gotta do a better job of keeping people from intruding on the pack -”

“Exactly,” Louis snaps. “You told Harry how to do his job. That's a challenge.” When Niall flinches at sharpness in his tone, he softens around the edges. “Listen, I know you’re still pissed that Harry challenged you and won last year, but you need to get over it. And I don’t mean it in a bad way, you know? I mean it like, like you losing a challenge doesn’t make you any less of a wolf. I know that you think being removed from beta automatically makes you omega but it doesn’t. We still love and respect you, you just - you need to show us that you respect us as well, understand?”

Niall nods, head lowered. “Sorry, Louis.” He leans into the touch when Louis claps a hand around his neck and pulls their heads together. Forehead resting against Louis’s, Niall takes a deep breath to calm himself down. Catching a peculiar scent, he scrunches his nose up. “Louis?”

“Yeah, Nialler,” he answers.

“Um,” Niall feels awkward for asking, but he must. “Have you been sneaking Eleanor in on your lunch breaks again?”

“Goodbye, Nialler,” Louis responds loudly, and shoves him through the door, slamming it after him. Niall cackles, giving it one solitary knock, and heads back to the reception area, where Zayn is fiddling with a mug of pens on the counter while spinning in the desk chair.

He looks up when Niall walks into the room, eyes bright and a soft smile adorning his features. “Hey,” he says. Niall grins, crossing his arms and leaning them onto the elevated part of the desk. Zayn looks up at him, eyes crinkling at the corners. “So, uh, are you sure when you say that you don’t need anymore help? Cause like, this desk’s been empty since I dropped you off this morning.”

Laughing, Niall scratches at his chin. The truth is, they don’t let anyone who isn’t pack work at the shelter. They’ve got maybe ten people on payroll, including Harry, Louis, and Niall, and Louis doesn’t seem too keen to expand that number. The ten of them have broken off into groups that each have their own shifts to run seven days a week unless otherwise is needed, and the rest of the pack is brought in whenever they need volunteers for anything, such as adoption fairs like the one coming up soon. The only exception to the pack only rule is on full moons, when Louis needs someone to watch the shelter while he leads the pack on a run.

“Um,” Niall says, “Not really. It’s early, so we don’t usually get many visitors, and when we do, Harry usually takes care of them. He loves animals, but he loves people more, so.” He shrugs. “Most of our visitors come after, for some reason. By then we’re getting ready to leave, and the next shift is just coming in.”

Zayn nods. “Right. So I guess I’ll just, uh, man reception until you’re ready to go, then.” He grins up at Niall. “Go do your job, slacker.”

Laughing, Niall leans over the desk. He puckers his lips exaggeratedly. “Kiss me goodbye?”

Zayn shakes his head, but obliges anyway. “So lucky I like you, Horan,” he murmurs, placing a chaste kiss on his mouth. Niall holds a hand to his chest.

“You  _ just _ like me? After all we’ve been through? Oh, how you offend me,” he moans.

Rolling his eyes, Zayn waves him off. “Go do your work, mate.”

A smile still curling on Niall’s lips, he walks off to do as he's told.

*

The next night is a full moon. Louis calls the usual group of kids to watch the shelter, some undergraduates from the veterinary school only a couple minutes away. They get volunteer hours for staying the night - and sometimes the day after - so they’re always on time and eager. Louis pays them in food, leaving them enough cash to order as much takeout as they want throughout the night, except for the one time when one of the boys complained that he wasn’t going to pay his loans off with shiity Thai once a month. Louis had given him a gift card to the Thai place the kids frequent with a note attached:  _ Now you can have shitty Thai  more than just once a month. _

Niall begs off a movie night with Zayn under the guise of feeling poorly, which wasn’t the best excuse, as Zayn then insisted on coming to take care of him. It wasn’t until Niall thought up some strange and contagious symptoms that he let it go. Even though he feels bad about it, Niall can’t risk shifting with Zayn present. He’d probably break up with him, seeing as he doesn’t like dogs and whatnot. He may or may not still be upset about that.

“Who are we missing?” Louis calls, looking over the heads of the pack. “Where’s Liam? I told him he couldn’t be late, the prat.”

“I’m right  _ here _ , Lou,” Liam grumbles, arms crossed. “I’ve  _ been _ here, got here before you even.”

Louis scoffs, still searching for faces. “Doubtful. Eleanor, who are we missing? I keep coming up one short.”

Coming up behind him, Eleanor places a hand on his shoulder. “We’re not missing anyone, Lou. Everyone’s here.” Even so, she whistles sharply, calling everyone’s attention. They all pause, turning to their alphas. “Roll call,” Eleanor calls.

Clearing his throat, Louis calls through the names of all their pack members. Harry, Niall, Liam, Nick, Aimee, Gemma, Jade, Perrie, Leigh Anne, Jesy, and Freddie, Louis’s son. They don’t usually run with the pups, but since Freddie’s already gotten big enough to be filled with crazy energy during the shift Louis’s started bringing him along. Liam’s own son, Bear, won’t be running with them until he’s at least one. For now, though, he’ll shift in his cot, watched over by Cher.

“Alright, Freddie, come here,” Louis says, pulling the boy to his side. “Um, Niall, Harry, Gemma, you’re with me tonight. Nick, Laura, Aimee, you’re with El. If we get separated, that’s who you look for, alright? We should be fine, but just as a precaution.” He turns to Harry. “I’ll be with Freddie for most of the run, so I want you working with Eleanor to keep them together, alright?” Harry nods, expression grim. “Okay. Everyone get ready, the sun’ll be setting in about a minute.”

They all undress, folding their clothes up and setting them in the bed of Eleanor’s truck. Louis squats and undresses Freddie first, handing the pile of clothes off to Eleanor, then winces as he peels off his nappy. He grimaces until he’s got it off, then sighs in relief. “Oh, thank god,” he says, “I could have sworn he was dirty.”

“He was,” Eleanor says primly, folding her jumper over her arm. “Until I changed him because you took too long. He was going to burn.”

Grinning, Louis stands, leaning over to peck her on the cheek. “Thanks, love.” He strips quickly, then raises his brows at Niall, who’d been watching the exchange silently. “See something you like?”

“Not really,” Niall says, “I haven’t got my glasses.”

Louis cackles, but he cuts himself off as the whole pack goes quiet, watching as the last rays of the sun sink below the horizon. There’s a palpable change in the atmosphere; all conversation has stopped as they feel the affect the moon has on them. A shiver rolls through them all, and they all shift.

It’s different for them all. Some of them feel pain, some of them feel as if they’ve just taken off a tight pair of shoes. For Freddie it’s like nothing, a human one second and a pup the next, barely a sound escaping from this throat. Harry always shifts with a deep growl, as if it’s being torn out of him.

For Niall, it’s like being set free.

Once they’ve all shifted completely, Louis directs them into the bundle of trees behind them. They always run in the greenbelt, going in by the park behind Louis and Eleanor’s flat. They stick together, but they run at their own pace. No one is rushed, no one is told to slow down. Harry and Eleanor keep an eye on all of them, flanking the group on both sides, as Louis runs with Freddie up front. Niall hangs back with Jade, his resident running buddy. She nips at his heels, and he yaps, biting at her ear.

He loves the run so damn much.

*

“Come on, haven’t got all day for you lot,” Eleanor calls, ushering them into the house. She directs Harry to the kitchen with a stern, “Get cooking, lad, I’m starving,” and points the rest of them in the direction of the living room. It’s a tight fit, over a dozen of them crammed into the small space, but they make it work. Perrie, Jesy, and Leigh Anne all pile into a corner on the floor, limbs tangling. Nick, Aimee, and Gemma collapse onto the couch, taking up the whole thing. Liam and Louis cram onto the armchair, Freddie passed out across their laps. Niall and Jade lie together right in the middle of the room, half obscured by the coffee table. In the kitchen, Eleanor and Harry can be heard arguing about cooking methods and whether or not to use this and that spice.

“So, how’s your boy?” Jade asks quietly, brushing her curls back. She rests her cheek on her hand, curling towards Niall. He shrugs.

“Doesn’t like dogs,” he murmurs. Jade’s eyes go soft, and he huffs a tired laugh. “How many of you know, then?”

Jade winces. “All of us. Harry put it in the group chat once you told him.” At Niall’s confused look, she sighs. “You’ve kept it on mute for the past three weeks, remember? Because you say we talk too much.”

“You  _ do _ talk too much,” Niall sighs, pulling his phone out. He checks the group chat they’ve made for the pack quickly; the only topic of conversation they’ve had in the past few days is how Niall is apparently dating a hunter. Which, no, that’s not what it is. He quickly types a response to all the nonsense - a simple  _ mind your own business ya fuckers !!! _ \- and replaces it in his pocket once more. Jade, looking over his shoulder as he types, huffs out a laugh. She rubs her face against his shoulder, yawning.

“Christ,” she says. “If Harry and Eleanor don’t hurry up with the food, I might just go ahead and pass out.” 

“Well if you want it so quickly, then just do it your damn self,” Harry says matter of factly, walking into the room. In one hand he holds a huge bowl full of steaming eggs, the other a plate piled with sausages. Eleanor comes trailing behind him, holding a plate stacked with pancakes and another with bacon. Everyone in the room perks up, eyeing the food and Louis. Louis stretches, rolling out the crick in his neck, and pulls the stack of paper plates out from under Harry’s arm. He serves Freddie first, setting him in the high chair in the corner to feed himself, then hands out equal portions to everyone, serving the girls before the lads. By the time Niall’s plate is handed to him, his mouth is watering, and he drowns the entire plate in maple syrup before digging in.

The only sound in the room is the one made by them eating, Freddie babbling to himself as he tears his pancakes apart with his hands. Louis occasionally sticks a spoonful of eggs into his mouth for him, but otherwise leaves him to make as much of a mess he wants. Niall knows it’s mainly because of how tired he is. Even though he and Eleanor have been dating for years, they’ve still not yet moved in together, and so Louis is usually very careful not to leave too much of a mess behind for her to clean up.

It was one hell of a run last night, though. They’re all tired enough to sleep for a week. At least, Niall is.

*

“I’ll see you soon, alright love?” Jade asks, dropping a kiss onto Niall’s cheek. He leans into it, smiling, and nods. “And don’t let the whole thing with the boyfriend bother you too much, yeah? We’ve all had that one person who didn’t agree with everything about us, and there are plenty of people who are happy that way. Just don’t let him make you feel ashamed of who you are.”

Niall laughs. “Thanks, mum.”

A twinkle in her eye, Jade winks. “Any time, son.” And she’s off, her curly hair tossing gently in the wind.

Niall idles in the drive until she’s closed the door behind her, then pulls out and heads back home. Eleanor had let him borrow the truck to get home, as long as he dropped it off in the morning on the way to the shelter. He relishes in sitting so high among the other drivers, able to see everything. Usually, when borrowing Louis’s car, he always ends up low enough to the ground that he could be run over and there’d be hardly any difference. For someone who loves to feel so big, Louis’s car is pretty small.

His phone pings with a text, and he sighs, glancing down to where it’s sitting in the cupholder. When he comes to a stop at the light, he quickly pulls it out to check, and sees that it’s Zayn.

_ okay so i know youre not sick because i just stopped by the flat and youre not there. whered you go? _

Sighing, he drops the phone back into the cupholder. He’ll answer when he’s home.

*

“So why have you got Eleanor’s car, then?” Zayn asks, crossing his arms and leaning back into the couch. Niall’s eyes narrow as he shuts the door behind him. He drops his keys onto the kitchen table.

“Um, well, I borrowed it last night, actually, after work -”

“You didn’t go to work, Niall,” Zayn deadpans. “You said you were sick.” He shakes his head, jaw working. He won’t meet Niall’s eyes. “What is this, huh? Are you seriously this pressed about me not liking dogs? Because we weren’t having these issues before I told you.”

Niall makes a face walking through the kitchen and into the living room. “What issues?”

Shaking his head, Zayn stands. “You wouldn’t tell me why you left those dogs alone the other day, and now you won’t tell me where you were just now. What the hell, Niall?” He shrugs. “Are you cheating on me, or? Like, did you decide that you just couldn’t be with someone who doesn’t want some golden retriever shedding all over their shit?”

Reeling back, Niall blinks, shocked. “Excuse me? Golden retrievers do not shed all over your shit, okay, if you set boundaries and groom them correctly. By setting boundaries the stray hairs don’t end up in your, like, toothbrush or whatever, and if you groom them correctly maybe they won’t shed as much, alright?” He crosses his arms, curling into himself. “And I’m not cheating on you, Malik, what the fuck?”

Hands running over his face, Zayn laughs incredulously. “I don't even know what to say, man. Why would you focus more on the part about the dog than the part about me accusing you of cheating on me? Like, who does that? Really? Like I’m genuinely curious as to who  _ only  _ reacts to half assed insults directed towards dogs.

“Well,” Niall says, scratching at his head. “People who really like dogs?”

“Oh my  _ god _ , Niall!” Zayn exclaims, and he grabs his jacket off the spare chair. “I’m leaving now, because obviously there’s something you’re not telling me and don’t  _ plan  _ on telling me, so this conversation is going nowhere.”

Niall reaches out to him as he passes by, but Zayn jerks out of the way. Instinctively, Niall follows, a small growl building in his throat. In the space of a second, he’s got Zayn’s back pressed up against his front, one arm thrown across his torso like a barrier. Niall’s mouth is pressed to his neck, teeth pressing against the inside of his lips hard enough to hurt. One hand is loosely holding onto Zayn’s wrist, and he can feel the growl rumbling in his chest.

“What the fuck.” Zayn says. “Why do you sound like a fucking  _ vibrator _ , Niall?” He pulls himself out of Niall’s awkward embrace, turning to face him. Niall’s eyes are wide, and he feels caught, backed into a corner. His whole life has revolved around thinking quickly on his feet, but he can’t do it today. His mind is drawing a complete blank for the first time ever, and he’s got no idea what to do.

“Um,” he stammers. “I - I don’t really, uh, have...an answer?”

Zayn stares at him, brows furrowed. He runs a hand over his shorn hair, and he scoffs a little. “I don’t even have anything left to say, man. Like, if you wanna just tell me what’s going on without it being some ridiculous lie that we can both see through, then please do it now. But if you’re not, then I’m going home. And I can’t really guarantee coming back at this point.”

A short breath pushes itself out of Niall’s chest, feeling punched out. He can’t speak. He can’t think. He’s got nothing to say.

He’s about to lose his boyfriend, and the only reason he can come up with is because he doesn’t like dogs.

“Zayn, I…” he trails off, head shaking. He spreads his hands, palms up, helpless. “I - I can’t.”

Jaw working, Zayn nods. He looks away, eyes shining, and sniffs in hard. “Shit, Horan. Fine.” He turns, striding towards the door. He’s only pulled it open a few inches before he’s turning around again. “You know, I’ve never cried over a guy before. And - and here you are, making me cry over an opinion on fucking  _ dogs _ . Like, how did you even manage that?”

He’s halfway out the door when Niall says it.

“I’m a werewolf,” he says, eyes squeezing shut. He feels when Zayn turns back to him, probably wide eyed and incredulous. “I wasn’t at work yesterday because it was a full moon and I shifted, not because I was sick. And we all went to Eleanor’s flat after, which is why I have her truck. I didn’t tell you because - well, I think it’s pretty obvious why I didn’t tell you.” He laughs self-deprecatingly, running a hand over his hair. He hears the door shut quietly.

“Are you high?” Zayn hisses. Niall’s eyes snap open, and he finds Zayn pressed along the door, plastered to it practically, eyes wide and shiny with unshed tears. “Or is that really the best you can come up with?”

Shaking his head, Niall looks up so his own tears don’t fall. “Listen, just - don’t freak out, alright?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he’s stripping his clothes, dropping them in a pile by his feet. Zayn makes a choked noise, and Niall sees him press himself further along the wall before he takes off his glasses.

Despite the tense situation, Niall still revels in the shift.

Once he’s gone through it, he shakes his head out. It’s almost too soon, right after a run, but he focuses himself and looks up at Zayn, who’s about two seconds away from passing out. 

“Niall,” he says, breathing heavily. “This is - this isn’t cool, okay? Stop it with the effects and shit, just - come back.” He won’t take his eyes off Niall, but he raises his voice as if he might be hiding in the corner or something.

Slowly, Niall pads towards him, head lowered. He hesitates when Zayn scrambles against the door, his keys scraping against the wood and making a rough noise, not until the sound of Niall’s claws on the kitchen tile. Once Zayn’s stopped moving, Niall comes in closer. He stops when he’s only a step away from Zayn. He noses at the air, sniffing out the smells that are usually so familiar to him. They still are, only now they’re so focused and acute that it’s like when Niall first met Zayn all over again, a rush of intoxicating scents that make Niall’s head spin.

He pauses when Zayn holds out a hand. Nose pointing up, Niall ignores how badly Zayn’s hand is shaking, and waits for him to make contact. He huffs when Zayn’s hand lingers in the air, and he pushes his nose up into it. Zayn’s hand twitches, but still, and runs up over his nose and between his eyes, until it’s resting on Niall’s head. Niall closes his eyes happily when Zayn starts to scratch.

“Oh, my god,” Zayn breathes. “This is - this can’t be real. Tell me this isn’t real.” Even as he whispers to himself, he kneels down and runs both his hands through Niall’s fur. Niall sits there, enjoying it. It’s been too long since he got a good rub.

Laughing, Zayn holds Niall’s head between his hands. “Look at your eyes, they’re - they’re exactly the same. And - and you fur is practically the same color as your hair. Is this really you, Niall?”

Tongue lolling out, Niall grins, and throws himself into Zayn’s arms. He yells out as he’s thrown off balance, but he just leans up against the door again. “Christ, Nialler, you’re just as heavy when you’re a dog, you know that?”

Niall barks quietly at that, nipping at Zayn’s hand. He rolls over in Zayn’s lap, scenting him. Laughing, Zayn just takes it, hands running all over Niall’s pelt.

“This is amazing,” he says quietly. Niall pauses, lifting his head to stare at him. “I guess this is why you’ve been so sketchy, lately, huh?” He runs a hand over Niall’s head. Eyes falling closed for a second, Niall makes a noise, head drooping back to follow Zayn’s hand. “I can’t believe I’ve been dating a werewolf all this time.  _ Oh!  _ That’s why you were pissed when I said I don’t like dogs.”

At the reminder, Niall huffs and lifts himself off Zayn. He only makes it a few strides away when Zayn grabs him around the torso and hauls him back. Niall barks, alarmed, as he’s dragged across the tile and pulled back onto Zayn’s legs. He wriggles in Zayn’s grasp, whining and yipping and trying to bite at any part of Zayn he can reach.

“God, calm down,” Zayn laughs. “Obviously I didn’t mean you. Would never mean you.” He says the last part softly, and his hands fall away from Niall’s body, coming up to his head again. Niall freezes, and turns to look at Zayn. Teeth baring slightly, he wiggles again so he can get out of Zayn’s lap. Again.

He shifts back once he’s off, sitting naked on the cool kitchen tile. He ignores the cold on his arse, staring at Zayn.

“So...you’re not mad?” he asks softly. Zayn - blurry, soft around the edges because Niall isn’t wearing his glasses - shakes his head.

“Nah, not mad,” he says. “At least, not about the whole thing from earlier. I am mad that you didn’t tell me sooner, though. You’re a fucking werewolf, Niall, it’d be nice to get a warning next time.”

Laughing, Niall runs a hand over his face. “Yeah, I know. The whole pack was saying I should have told you by now, but I just - was worried, I guess. About how you’d react. You’re - you’re the best boyfriend I’ve had in a while, and I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Shaking his head, Zayn laughs disbelievingly. “I still think there’s a chance a spider could bite me and make me a superhero, and you think I’d let this,” he waves at Niall, “would bother me? Come on, Niall.”

A grin breaks out onto Niall’s face against his will, and he buries it into his elbow. Rubbing his arm over his face, he clears his throat. “God, I’m naked as the day I was born. Let me just - I’ll get dressed, and then we can finish this.”

As he pulls on his clothes, Zayn continues to stare at him. Niall feel just a tad uncomfortable, but only because without his his glasses he can't tell what Zayn's expression looks like. He could be pissed off, and Niall wouldn't know. Even if Zayn did say he wasn't mad.

He's finally got his glasses on when Zayn asks “For how long, then?” Niall glances over, shrugging.

“My whole life, I guess. Can't remember a time when it wasn't like that.” He grins, ducking his head. “First shift I can remember is when I was a kid. Almost scared the shit outta me mum; she wasn't sure if the gene had passed on or not.”

Zayn tilts his head. “How do you mean?”

“Me dad’s not a wolf,” Niall explains. “Just Maura. So it was a fifty fifty chance of me and me brother being wolves. He's not, I am. My mum had to leave the house to shift, and my dad wouldn't check on me in my cot, so when I was old enough to be walking about, I shifted right in the middle of the kitchen. Mum almost ran over me.”

Laughing, Zayn stands, approaching Niall. He places his hands on Niall’s waist, and the touch warms him. “That's amazing. So do babies shift, then?”

Niall nods, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s neck. “Yeah, but they're only pups. You age differently as a wolf, so you don't start doing anything during the shift that you wouldn't do out of it. Like, Liam’s boy won't start walking as a wolf till he starts walking as a human.”

“Sick,” Zayn breathes. Niall laughs.

“Can’t believe I was actually worried about you,” he says. Zayn grins softly.

“Well, now you know,” he says. “Now come on, I wanna hear more about this whole wolf business.”

*

“So he’s totally fine with you being a wolf?” Jade asks, moving lifting a crate off the sign in table. Her curly hair is pulled into a bun at the top of her head, one errant strand falling over her forehead. Niall tugs on it, watching it spring back up. “I wonder who told you that you’d be fine?” She quirks her eyebrow at him, batting his hand away when he goes to pull at the strand again. “Stop that. Is he stopping bye today? We need all the traffic we can get.”

Niall shrugs, pulling his bright purple shirt - which matches Jade’s yellow one, and the rest of the staff’s array of colors - off his chest to get some air. “I dunno. I mentioned it to him, but he didn’t say if he would or not. I think he’s working, though.” He squints at her, pushing his glasses up. “And you didn’t say anything about being fine if I told him, so hush.”

Smirking, Jade holds up a finger, signalling him to wait as a mum and her kid approach the table. Niall watches as she chats with the little girl about what kind of pet she wants. They’re outside, all set up for their adoption fair. They’d moved it up by a week, because Dall showed significant enough improvement to be up for adoption early, and Louis wanted to celebrate. They’ve got dozens of cages and enclosures set up in a maze around the front entrance to the shelter, all on the grass so they don’t get too exhausted by the heat. On each enclosure is a sheet of paper describing each animal inside, medical history and personality included, so people know exactly what they’re going for.

Niall stretches onto his toes, looking for Dall. She’s got her nose peeking up over the bars of her enclosure. A boy is petting at her head, but Niall can see someone reading her profile, shaking their head. The man drops the sheet and ushers the boy away. Sighing, Niall sticks a nail between his teeth, chewing anxiously. That’s the third person who’s walked away from Dall looking unhappy. Niall can’t stand the sight.

A sharp sting pulls him out of his thoughts. Jade stands by him, hand pulling back from slapping his arm.

“Stop that, it’s gross,” she says. She follows his gaze. “She’ll be fine, alright? Someone will come along, and they won’t mind that she’s got some vision issues. People love an old dog, right? She’ll be fine.”

Niall nods. “Yeah. She’ll be fine.” He takes a deep breath, still watching Dall as she’s left alone to play with herself. “She’ll be fine.”

Zayn comes only ten minutes later, eager to play with the kittens - as he always is when he visits the shelter - and he gives Niall a cursory kiss on the cheek before heading towards them.

“Wow,” Jade says. “Straight for the cats. Not right at all.” She shakes her head, clucking disapprovingly. Rolling his eyes, Niall follows, tugging on Jade’s hair as he goes.

He wraps an arm around Zayn’s waist where he’s bent in half to pick up a kitten. When he straightens, he lifts the kitten to Niall’s face, touching their noses. The kitten mewls, then licks at Niall’s nose, which Niall scrunches.

“Just cause I’m somewhat understanding of you not liking dogs doesn’t mean I’m going to starts liking cats,” he says, glancing at Zayn. He grins.

“Was thinking of adopting one,” he says, ignoring Niall. Niall makes a face.

“I’m not letting it into my flat, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he says. “I’m not letting some tabby shed all over my shit.” He raises his brows at Zayn, whose grin only grows.

“Not if you set boundaries and a proper grooming routine,” he parrots. Niall makes a face.

“Ha ha,” he says. He glances over Zayn’s shoulder to where Louis is waving him over. “Give me a minute, eh?”

When he reaches Louis, he pulls Niall into a hug, thumping his back.”I’m proud of you, lad,” he says. Niall’s arms come up out of instinct, but he’s confused as hell.

“Okay?” he says. Louis scoffs, pulling back.

“I’m proud of you for telling your boy what’s going on,” he elaborates.

“Okay,” Niall says again. “I told you about this as soon as it happened, why are you only saying this now?”

Louis shrugs, crossing his arms. “I wasn’t proud of you when it happened. You took too long to tell him, which created issues between you two,  _ and _ you crashed El’s truck that same day, so.”

Brows furrowing, Niall reels his head back. “What?”

“Oh yeah, by the way, if El asks, you crashed her truck,” Louis pats him on the arm, grinning mischievously, and walks off.

“What?” Niall says into empty air.

“Excuse me?” a small voice asks. Niall turns, sees a young girl with glasses looking up at him. He kneels down to meet her height, ignoring the crick in his knee.

“What can I do you for?” he asks.

The girl shrugs. “I wanted to know about the dog over there.” She points to Dall, sat alone in her enclosure because the two other dogs who’d been there have already been adopted. “The paper says she can’t see well. Why not?”

Niall smiles. “Well, pet, she was born with a medical condition that caused her sight to slowly leave her, and then she had a bad owner who didn’t try to help her at all when he found out. In fact, he just gave her to us so we could figure it out. But don’t let her eyesight fool you, yeah? She’s still super smart, strong, and healthy. She’s my best friend, actually.”

The little girl nods. “What’s her name?”

“I call her Dall, but you can call her whatever you want if you take her home with you,” Niall says, winking conspiratorially. The girl grins, then turns to look at her dad.

“Can we have her, daddy?” she asks, eyes going round. Niall knows that trick well, has seen it on his nephew Theo and Freddie too many times to count. He’s never fooled, but for some reason their parents always are.

The girl’s dad sighs, brows pulling together. “I dunno, love, she looks a bit big. Not sure she’d even fit in the car.”

“Even the biggest of dogs can fit a car,” Niall says with a grin. _I_ _would_ _know_ , he doesn’t say. “All it takes is a bit of rearranging and you’re golden.”

The dad, unconvinced, nods. “Sure.” He turns to his daughter. “Why don’t we go call mum and ask her what she says, yeah?”

“Okay!” they girl says, hopping in her step to follow him away from the crowd. Niall grins. Dall may just have found a new home.

He turns as someone calls his name, and grimaces when he sees Zayn covered in three more kittens, a grin plastered across his face.

“ _ No _ , Zayn!” he shouts, pointing a finger at him.

Zayn just laughs.

*

“A pretty successful day if I do say so myself, gents,” Louis says, locking the last enclosure. They’d managed to give away half their dogs, a quarter of their cats, and most of their other furry residents. A successful day, indeed.

“Nice to know people still love animals,” Harry says, thumbing through his phone. “As often as we see animals get hurt here, you’d think all the good people had gone.”

Niall hums, throwing an arm over Harry’s shoulder. “Nah. For every person who hurts an animal, there’s a dozen who would gladly take it in instead. We just see all the bad stuff because of where we work.” He drops a kiss on Harry’s head. “We just need to go out more often.”

“Speaking of seeing,” Louis says, patting his pockets. He pulls out his keys triumphantly. “Dall was adopted, Niall. Did you get to say bye?”

Niall looks at Louis. “What? Did she really?”

Louis nods. “Yeah. A little girl and her dad. They said they’d spoken to you, so I thought you’d already said bye. I’m assuming you didn’t?” His brows are furrowed, and he looks genuinely concerned. Niall shakes his head.

“No,” he says. “I mean, I did speak to a kid and her dad, but I didn’t get to say bye. Damn.” He laughs ruefully. “I’m gonna miss that damn dog.”

Harry pats Niall on the back. “Don’t worry, Niall,” he says. “She’s in good hands, now.”

Niall nods. “Yeah.”

They stand in silence for a bit, until Louis gently pulls Niall’s hand from his mouth. Niall hadn’t even realized it was there.

“Alright, lads, let’s head on home,” Louis says. “I’ve got a pup and a mate waiting for me.”   


“Why haven’t you proposed yet, exactly?” Harry asks. Their conversation fades as they walk on ahead of Niall, but all he can do is glance toward the hall that used to house Dall.

“Stay safe, petal,” he says quietly.

*

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” Niall says before the door is even fully open to his flat. Zayn grins, sitting on the couch. He doesn’t even look ashamed, the twat. “ _ Zayn _ . Didn’t I say no? Because I remember you being there to hear me say it.”

Zayn, the prick, shrugs, making sure not to jostle the sleeping kitten in his hands. “I know. But I’ve got my own flat, so if push comes to shove I’ll just start spending more time there than here.” He smiles down at the kitten. “She’s precious, Niall, I couldn’t help it.”

“Bet you could have,” Niall mumbles, moving towards the fridge. He huffs to himself as he opens it, then huffs again when he can’t find anything interesting inside. “Fuck me.”

Zayn stands, slowly approaching him. The damn cat is still in his hands. “Are you alright, babe?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Niall mumbles, and he flinches at a sudden bitter tang in his mouth. He pulls his hand down to see blood pooling at the corner of his nail, where he’s bitten too hard and ripped off a chunk of skin. “Shit.” It heals right before his eyes, but the blood is still there.

“What happened?” Zayn asks softly. Niall turns to find him right there, the kitten still asleep in his arms. He gives Zayn a pointed look, which Zayn only returns.

Sighing, Niall runs a hand over his hair. “Dall’s been adopted.

“Well, that’s great,” Zayn says, a smile forming.

“I didn’t get to say goodbye,” Niall finishes. Zayn’s smile drops.

“Oh.”

“Yeah,  _ oh _ ,” Niall says, pushing past him. He stalks to the bedroom, rummaging through his pockets so he can empty them before he showers. “I dunno, mate, I’m just upset. It’s not a big deal; I’ll be past it by morning.” He gathers clothes and a towel, and turns, almost dropping everything when he runs into Zayn. “Could you let go of that damn cat for one second?”

Zayn pouts. “He’s  _ sleeping _ , Niall.” Sighing, Niall shakes his head.

“Whatever,” he mumbles, and shuts himself in the bathroom.

That night, he sleep eludes him. He’s not sure what it is, but he can’t shake the feeling that he’s missing something, that he’s done something wrong. He tries to shake it off, but it niggles at the back of his mind, even after he’s fallen asleep.

When he wakes - before his alarm, because Zayn’s dumb cat has made herself at home on his face and decidedly suffocated him - the feeling continues to persist. It puts Niall on edge, makes him crabby, and he just wants to be left alone.

He leaves the flat with no more than a muttered ‘bye’ to Zayn, who stares after him in confusion. Niall hopes to feel better by the end of the day, because he feels kind of bad, leaving Zayn the way he did, and if he’s in the mood then he’ll explain to Zayn what’s going on. If he’s not he’ll probably just make it worse.

Harry notices something’s off the second he walks through the front doors of the shelter, sending him to do paperwork rather than interact with the animals and put them on edge, too. He ignores Niall’s dirty look, sifting through the all the adoption work that needs to be finalized and handing him the pile.

“Let me know when you’ve figured out what’s up,” Harry says, and pats him on the arm. “Hope you get it soon.”

Niall shuts himself in Louis’s office for the rest of the day. He doesn’t talk to anyone, doesn’t eat anything. He does his paperwork in between fits of pacing, chewing his nails to the quick, and running his hands through his hair enough to make it stand on end. He keeps running through everything he can remember, but he can’t think of whatever it is that’s making him feel like this, like he’s missing something huge.

About an hour before they’re set to change shifts, Louis walks in, slamming the door behind him. Niall doesn’t stop his pacing, feeling more on edge than he has the rest of the day.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Louis snaps.

Niall shakes his head, gnawing on a nail. “I don’t know, mate. But it’s, like, eating at me, in here,” he paws at his chest, feeling like a live wire. “I don’t know where it came from, I can barely even remember when it started, I - I don’t  _ know _ .”

Louis watches him carefully, head tilted back. “Do you need a run?”

“I dunno, maybe? But I just shifted the other day, and the moon was only a few weeks ago, I -” he looks at Louis, feeling desperate. “Help me.”

Nodding, Louis opens the door to the office again, waiting for Niall to walk out before he does.

“We’re leaving early, Haz,” he calls. “Keep an eye on the place before Liam’s group gets here, yeah?”

Harry nods. “Course. Everything alright?”

“Not sure,” Louis says, eyeing Niall. He places a hand on the small of his back, leading him out. He all but shoves Niall into his car, and dries them to the greenbelt. When they walk into the field, Niall’s caged feeling doesn’t go away, even with the huge field right in front of him, and he pulls at his hair with both hands.

“Shift,” Louis calls, and it’s as if Niall commanded it himself because in the next second he’s gone, buried under a pile of scrubs too big for his canine body. He shakes himself out of the clothes, and stays shaking even after he’s emerged. He can’t stop twisting his head back and forth, even when he begins to feel light headed, even when his neck starts to hurt, even when he starts to see spots. If he keeps shaking his head, he figures, maybe he can shake this gross feeling out.

“Niall,” Louis barks, stern and commanding. Niall doesn’t stop, can’t stop, and he shakes his head so hard his body flails around. He doesn’t stop until he hears his alpha bark at him, loud enough to echo in the field, and even then he just drops to the ground, paws covering his eyes as he whimpers. He can’t help it when he starts crying, the feeling turning into one of loss, of something he can’t get back. Louis noses at his paws, tries to get him to uncover his face, but he can’t, won’t. Showing weakness in front of your alpha is bad enough without them seeing your tears.

Louis barks quietly at him, softly enough to let him know he doesn’t have to follow the order. Niall picks himself up off the floor anyway, tossing his head to let Louis know he’ll do it. He follows him into the trees, where the wooded area of the greenbelt starts, and they run.

They run until the sun goes down, and even though he knows he shouldn’t, Niall runs ahead of Louis for most of it. If he runs fast enough, he figures, maybe he can outrun the gross feeling.

He can’t, though.

Eventually, Louis barks at him sharply enough that Niall knows he’s tired, and Niall stops even though he doesn’t want to. The feeling, which had only just fallen away, comes back in a rush, and he paces, whimpering, as Louis catches his breath. Raising his head, Louis appraises him with hooded eyes. He stalks over, and when he’s close enough he sniffs at Niall’s collar, around his ears and his face. When he’s found what he was sniffing after, he reels back, lifting onto his hind legs in surprise. Niall yelps, confused, and backs away. Louis barks once, and they both shift back quickly.

Niall falls back onto his arse, hands going to his hair again, eyes wide. Louis’s blurry figure stands tall above him, breathing heavily.

“You made her pack,” he says, somber. “You made Dall pack, at some point, and now that she’s gone you’re not feeling right. What the  _ fuck _ , Niall, what did you do?”

Niall shakes his head. “I don’t know, Louis, I don’t - it was an accident, I didn’t even realize, I just -” he leans over, dry heaving into the grass. The feeling tears at his chest, twists his stomach, until he can’t think straight, until he can’t figure out what’s up and what’s down. He presses his face into the grass, crying.

He hears Louis shift again, hears him run away, but all he can do is cry. He can’t pull himself together enough to shift again, to run after Louis, who might as well be deserting him for all he knows. Louis has never sounded more upset, not even when Niall lost the challenge to Harry.

And then Niall remembers.

When Niall lost the challenge to Harry a year prior, he’d been pissed for weeks. He’d almost been tossed from the pack because of how mad he was, would barely listen to his new beta and fought with Louis constantly about it. They’d been given Dall about a month after, and Niall was assigned as her primary caretaker. It had distracted him from being booted from his position as second for a bit, and was enough to tether him back to a position where he wasn’t fighting anyone who even looked at him. 

(It had hit him hard, losing his position. He’d had it practically since he’d moved to London for uni, since he met Louis and Eleanor before they’d even started their pack. Harry had been fresh to the pack, had been cocky and confident when he came in with them, and had challenged Louis twice before he realized he wasn’t strong enough. Harry is still relatively new to the pack, and for Niall to lose to someone who’d just come into the pack was a blow to his ego. Dall helped him calm down, in the long run.)

Niall must have made her pack during one of the times he’d shifted to make her more comfortable, and now he’s lost her. The first person he’s brought into the pack.

Louis had told him, once, that anyone could bring anyone into pack as long as the alpha approved it, but it would be the person - wolf - who brought in the new member that would be the most connected to them, emotionally. Everyone feels it when pack is lost, when pack strays too far away, but the one who brought them in feels it strongly enough that they could be considered the new members alpha.  _ Technically, and only for that one pack member, _ Louis had been quick to assure him. Niall had laughed it off at the time, the idiot.

He pounds a fist against the ground, growling deep in his throat. The sound of paws on the grass make him look up, and he sees Louis running back toward him.

Before he’s even reached Niall, he’s shifting back. He skids to a stop, breathing heavily.

“I’ve got her address,” he says. “We can get her back.”

“Oh, god,” Niall says, and he shifts, running back to the car. They shift and dress quickly once they’ve reached it, and they pile in. Louis speeds out of the lot, the address of Dall’s new owners already put into the satnav.

“We’ll get her back, Niall,” Louis says, leveling him with a look. He's got a hand on Niall’s shoulder and it grounds him, a bit, but not enough to shake off the feeling, the one he understands now.

Niall nods, looking out to the window. His eyes flicker, unable to catch on anything for more than a millisecond. He can feel Dall, somewhere in him. She’s too far away.

“I’m coming for you, petal,” he whispers.

“I’m coming.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr and yell at me about how bad this is at flickrseshions


End file.
